Who am I, why am I here … and why have I had so many jobs? — I’m a deep thinker from way back. As a small child, I recall wondering, for example, why my first grade teacher was so unhappy. Her name was Mrs. Sullivan and she didn’t seem to like first-graders. Since then, I’ve discovered that teaching is a profession that can make it difficult…

The age of cheap gas is over, America — I went carless for six months when I was young, spry and living in Denver. The experience was not encouraging. I felt like I was one step away from bag lady status. My metal armor had been stripped away and I felt like a naked chihuahua in a thunderstorm. Speaking…

Let’s do a thought experiment as Independence Day closes in — Like every political article written in the last seven years, why not begin with a list of every amoral, unethical, illegal, medieval, pedophilic, sociopathic, and disgusting thing Donald J. Trump has done since around 1970. On second thought, it’s already recorded for posterity so might as well dive into this…

Calculating my survival odds in a poem — I’m middle-aged and a lady Therefore invisible, so I decree: The GOP won’t come for me! Then again, I look a little gay On my Harley, on a sunny day… Could the jackboots haul this wrinkled ass away? No, I’m white so I’ll blend in out there I can count on…

American health insurance strikes again — He’s 53, a paralegal by trade. His tale is a cautionary one. Unless you believe in original sin, Bruce has done nothing wrong. He’s an American who got sick. In May, his employer covered his surgery for blocked arteries, more commonly known as heart disease. A couple of stents later…

Take it from a flying monkey — The drama kids are still alive and kicking, and they will recruit your wrinkly ass. Last year, they staged Mama Mia! and until you’ve seen 80-year-olds in wigs belting out ABBA tunes, you haven’t lived. When I taught freshman English, I advised kids to sign up for Drama. I explained…

I like my Jesus as a mascot, not a God — I am an atheist who goes to church most Sundays. We don’t talk about atheism but the church officially recognizes every form of worship, so theoretically my opinion matters. As an atheist, I know this is bullshit. I’m not sure if Unitarians are Christians because I refuse to attend official…

Free Verse — I used to be somewhere else red-white-and-blue true, I was once a diamond throwing every hue, and when I spoke about the move, I would run like cherry wine on cobblestones, that’s me — clever heroine I went where only blood and money go, remodels, getaways, unpaid work — some…

There is a very simple solution to your problem, America — Don’t buy into the hype—this sh*tshow is not your fault! You didn’t ask to be gas addicts, petrol pawns, or fuelaholics. You did not exclaim to a Big Oil Exec: “Please Sir, I would like to be screwed royally!” It’s a fine state of affairs when you have to choose…