I recently built a zen rock garden, only to immediately realize how tedious it is to keep it tidy, which is the point, and this epiphany clued me into the tedium of keeping one's life tidy. Then I stopped thinking about it because it was too painful and I had to grab the rake (again!) to remove another errant leaf because it's fall, the worst time to build a zen garden. I do believe we strive to feel a sense of permanence because that's as close as we can get to feeling immortal. And maybe we crave that feeling because we can't transcend our individuality, but clearly that's not just a human problem if animals, too, are aware of death (i.e. their individual deaths). Why did I even leave this comment? I'm more confused than ever! Damn zen garden.