I relate strongly to all this. Just recently realized my autism. Now I'm 57, living in a retirement-type community and it's hard to connect. My husband is my only close friend--I mean one I can be real with. I'm trying to make friends at my church (UU) and among an LGBTQIA+ group (I'm straight) but I just get tired of the energy it takes. I lost a good friend last year after I went back home to visit and she didn't even want to see me. We wrote regularly but in person, she had to be talked into it.