I tend to avoid groups where I know the odds are low I'll find a friend. Other straight white women are usually trouble, especially those in my age peer group. Older women are more forgiving, but it can get sketchy with them, too. I prefer lesbians, men (especially older ones, who are more like lesbians), and other ND people. It's just not worth it to me anymore to keep pretending, partly because I then backslide and pretend to myself that I'm NT. Thankfully, my husband is also neurodivergent. If you want a better choir I'd check out the Unitarian Church. Free-spirits...I've found more oddballs there than in other places!