I wasn't seen as autistic because I am hyperlexic, very good with language, and a girl. I have ADHD that was missed because I'm female, I was in school in the 1970s, and I was compliant (spaced out, but quiet), and I was "gifted." I'm not at all surprised I never got a diagnosis. I did fine in childhood when my family was stable and elementary school was structured. My problems started with Jr. High. I think the way the DSM is written is not helpful for a lot of us. I didn't really see my social deficits clearly until recently, now that I'm thrown into a retirement community that feels a lot like high school. I wish you luck in getting a clearer picture. I found a lot more clarity when I delved more deeply into ADHD. The DSM on that, and the tests, never helped me self-identify but I'm quite sure I'm ADHD and recently got on Adderall which is VERY helpful.