I'm sorry to hear that happened to you as a goodbye. I guess it's true that giving help and accepting help are two sides of the same valuable coin. The way I felt it was like she said, "You aren't close enough for me to share this deeply personal aspect of living--which is dying." If I'd kown our friendship was transactional, that's would've been one thing but I felt blindsided by the reality of our friendship just when I needed a friend!