In my community of 15,000+ there was no gay community group until someone at our church formed the OWLs (old wise lesbians). They do A LOT, but she found that before OWLs there were lesbians in the community who didn't know a single other lesbian in our whole neighborhood. I'm gender non-conforming but not gay...but I hang out with them because I relate better than with straight women who've lived neurotypical lives.