I've always felt BPD is a catchall for hating emotional women. Autism is usually considered male and I think we just have a lot more sympathy for boys who can't conform socially/behaviorally than we do with girls. Most women I've known with BPD endured sexual abuse, which is about as bad as it gets in my opinion. I also think the "recovery" model can work well for trauma but not as well for autism/ADHD/RSD because it's more about coping, calming, and acceptance than changing yourself in those latter conditions. Which is why if you are neurodiverse the recovery model, including 12-step groups, can feel like an assignment you can't quite complete the right way. Anyway, I really appreciate your writing, honesty, and just overall bravery in untangling the complexities of ND experience.