I've seen the dynamic of men-as-breadwinners play out in my family and in my own marriage. In my case, I wish I could earn as much as my husband and am frustrated by my inability to do so, but I also have some acceptance. One reason is because even though he eaarns much more (some of it is pension and SS) he is willing to split chores 50-50. That's most of it, a reasonable allotment of chores. He doesn't resent me for earning less and I don't beat myself up about it. I struggle at times with jealousy and envy but I recognize that our life circumstances have been very different. We've both worked hard, both have advanced degrees but he's had mostly good luck and I've had mostly bad. Our society reinforces the belief that if you aren't getting ahead it's all your fault. That's not true. Not everyone is inherently ambitious and a lot more goes into success than simple hard work.