My mother was bipolor and I struggled to feel close to her. It makes sense to not trust someone who betrays you--for whatever reason, and at any age. Unfortunately it also robs us of one of the most important relationships in our lives. My sisters and I have been spared from bipolar but my mom's years of struggle, in and out of the hospital, left a mark. Like you, it was only in adulthood, after realizing I was blameless for my own depression and anxiety, that I finally understood her and could see her as a human being.