Sounds like your grandparents were pretty awesome, especially your grandma for telling Tom he was wrong. But I feel you. When I was 14, my new best friend's mom told her she thought I was "ugly on the inside" after the first time I met her mom. My friend relayed this to me. I was confused and hurt, and my friend didn't seem too sure which side she should take, either. I stayed friends with her throughout high school and wish I hadn't. Her mom not only insulted me, but put her (my friend) in a terrible position by rejecting a friend she'd brought home. Not surprisingly, this friend didn't have a lot of other friends. I wish I'd told someone, although I suspect my parents would've brushed it off. They weren't like your grandma!