This is so true. So many of my relationships have lacked reciprocity. My husband, who I can speak with respectfully, is the only person I have ever known who actually listens to me consistently and where I feel there is a healthy flow of back-and-forth dialogue. I recently discovered I am autistic, a diagnosis that is growing like wildfire. "High-functioning autistic women" are vastly underdiagnosed. The key missing piece in autism is a lack of feeling seen, heard, and the ability to socially reciprocate, in both the ability to initiate relationships and sustain them. That lack is the central problem in my life. Making friends is so difficult when the emotional push and pull is out of balance; indeed, when every connection attempt feels like a risk to the core sense of self-esteem. Finding a therapist who recognizes autism is the first hurdle; the second is finding one who recognizes it without pathologizing it. I do think all diagnoses happen in a social context, and the rise of autism says a lot about our dearth of balanced connectivity and reciprocity.